Rolling in the Deep
by dimiserunt eam mane
Summary: "You left me." She said though her words were lost in his mind somewhere as she spoke and he stared at the fangs as they showed themselves.   FOR MATURE TEENS ONLY.


Author's note: _Before_ you read this, be aware that there is mature content in the midst. If you do not think you can handle it, then don't read. Simple.

xXx

"You're back."

He scoffed as she spoke. Elena sat, facing the window with her leg underneath her and her other keeping her arm steady as she peered out the window. She didn't turn to look at him. She smelled like Damon, he thought.

He also noticed the tone of voice she was using with him; he vaguely remembered a time when he had gone 'off the bandwagon' and she had given him the same tone. It was filled with _genuine _concern that lost its meaning as he inhaled another deep breath, smelling the scent of his brother on her clothing.

He said nothing to her as he walked further into the shadows of his room, wondering why Klaus had let him go – as he had his entire journey home – and how long it would be until he would rip her apart, just as he had with the other girls.

"You're back." She repeated, with much more fear laced at the edges of her voice. She did not have to sound afraid; he could smell at it as it rushed through her veins at an inhuman pace.

He nodded simply, knowing she wasn't going to rest until he gave her an answer. As to why she was so genuinely concerned while smelling of sex and alcohol, one may never know.

"You're back."

Her voice was much quieter this time, and while she hadn't turned to look at him yet, at the sudden quick pick up of her heart beat, he _knew_ she knew he was close to her.

"Yes." He said simply, licking around his fang as it extended, soothing it back into it's slumber. _Not now, _he chided. "Perhaps, not for long, though."

She seemed disturbed at the thought and for the first time since he'd entered, she turned to him. He saw her red eyes, the veins that appeared underneath.

And he knew.

"You left me." She said though her words were lost in his mind somewhere as she spoke and he stared at the fangs as they showed themselves.

Stefan contemplated finding Damon, knowing he was the source behind all of this, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he shut off the feeling of caring. She had cheated on him, this much he knew for sure. He didn't _need_ confirmation.

He paused, though. "You were busy." Was all he said.

She wanted to smack him, abuse him, and make him feel the pain that she had felt every day since he had left. She could do nothing though. Nothing but sit there and take whatever lashing he planned on delivering her that particular morning.

She lunged at him before he could comprehend exactly what had happened. Pressed up against the wall of his bedroom, he could finally see her for who she truly was on the inside. She was a monster, a hater, afraid; still the girl he loved behind her mask of fangs and veins.

Klaus had spent months trying to train him into despising the world around him. Fear was a gift, and the blood he drank felt so much more alive with adrenaline filling their veins, but he could never do exactly what the original wanted him to. He could never shut off his feelings and pretend that living miles away from her didn't cause a physical beating to his heart.

"You left me." She said again though now he could find nothing but compassion for her. Damon had taken advantage of her weak state and used it to his advantage. Stefan had learned that it was the thrill of the chase; to win, to be able to drink the blood of a human and know you had their life in your hands.

When he didn't speak, she forced his neck to the side and dug her teeth in to his jugular. He groaned at the pain, knowing that was exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to feel the pain, albeit not the same pain and longing she had felt for the last few months, but it was close enough.

He laced his fingers through her hair and gently pulled her away from his neck, noticing the tears on her face as she brought her hand up and smacked him hard across his cheek. He didn't flinch.

"You left me!" She was screaming now, as if he didn't have vampire hearing skills and already heard it for the first time. Pounding on his chest, he knew her blows were doing more to her than they were to him. She was releasing anger long built after he'd left, and while he didn't agree with the way she was releasing it, he knew she needed it. She needed him to know how much he had hurt her, though they both knew he wouldn't understand.

"I know."

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" She screamed at his soft tone and lifted her hand to smack him again. He caught it as it flung near him and gripped his hand around it until she stopped squirming and broke down in sobs. "You're such a fucking insensitive prick, and I hope you go to hell and never think about coming back."

He looked at her for a moment. "You don't mean that."

She collapsed onto his chest as he spoke, nodding and sobbing. "I don't."

He didn't know whether to reciprocate her actions and hug her close or try to remember what it was like holding the _human_ Elena, the one he was afraid to hug in fear that she would break.

Her sobs wracked her tiny frame, and after a long moment of fighting against it, Stefan wrapped his arms around Elena the way he would have if they were still in love; if they were still the same people that the other knew so well.

But they weren't; they were no longer Stefan, the new boy in town and Elena, the lonely girl who had just lost her parents. They were no longer Stefan and Elena, the man and woman who had found each other and, despite everything, had fallen in love. They were no longer a 'they'.

Two hours and a river full of tears later, he heard her choke. Whether it was on air or the reality of it all, he was not sure. He didn't say anything, just let her sit there against his chest for as long as she needed to. It happened to be the first time in a while that he had not wanted to find a human and drain their blood. Elena brought out a sense of calm in him that only she could manage to find. It was nonexistent everywhere else; but with her, _always_.

She pulled back and looked at him, and he wondered what her cheeks would look like if they could redden; wondered what the feeling of love was anymore.

"_Love is every time I look in your eyes._" He'd once told her, and kissed her face while her cheeks grew red and beautiful and healthy. The way they should be right now, the way they never would be.

They weren't the same any more.

xXx

"I hate you."

There was a long pause in between the last of her cries and the slowing of her breathing. A silence that, to anyone else that might have entered the room, seemed uncomfortable, but Stefan was fine with uncomfortable. It wasn't yelling or screaming, or hate filled words. Up until Elena spoke, it had been silence.

"I _hate_ you."

He knew what she was saying wasn't true, or anywhere near to that. He didn't argue with her though. He just allowed her to believe that the feelings she had for him at that moment had all been hatred. _Like they never loved at all_.

"I know." He says after a long pause that causes him to look deeply into her eyes and see the brim of tears along the edges of her lids. "I wish I did. I wish that looking at you now didn't hurt so damn much because, when I do, all I see is the man I used to love."

The _used to_ nearly broke his heart. He said nothing and continued to look down at her, feeling the tears brim in his eyes. Elena stared back, the uncomfortable silence between them once more.

Slowly, but surely, they began untwisting themselves from the other. His hands fell to his sides, and hers – that had previously been clutching his shirt – folded in front of her and he stepped back, allowing the space between them to be a good thing. It had to be a good thing.

"You're not Stefan anymore," she choked out, but he could see she was arguing with herself about bringing it up at all. "You're not the Stefan I met two years ago in the boy's bathroom." She was ranting now; the anger that she had built up had become a time bomb, ready to blow. "I don't know who you are now. But you're not Stefan, and I'm not Elena."

He clears his throat, though it does no good for the sudden swelling in it. "We're not the same, dear, as we used to be." He mutters under his breath, the familiar song playing in tune in the background of his mind.

She caught on to what he was saying and crossed her arms over her chest, looking away from him. They were in his bedroom. He had every right to kick her out of it if he wanted to, but he didn't. He really didn't.

Somewhere underneath all the masking of hurt and loneliness was the girl he'd left. The girl he would always love, no matter what he became. Stefan would change many times in the upcoming years, but something he knew would never change was the way he felt about her.

He couldn't say the same about her feelings for him. _Used to_ ran through his head again and he stepped back further, wondering if he should uninvited himself from the room.

Elena just stared at him and while that was purely innocent to anyone who didn't know her, who didn't know what she'd become, he took it to heart and continued to back away until his back hit solid against the bookshelf and she came over, lightly fixing one of the books that had toppled down. Her fingertips lightly brushed against his shoulders as she retracted her hand. He felt like he was on fire.

Her eyes bore into his once more as she turned her head and looked up at him. He felt like she knew that her presence was making him uncomfortable and that was what lead to them being so tight right now.

They said nothing. She stood on her tippy toes and ran her fingers through his hair the way she used to. On hot summer days when it was just them together, the rest of the world didn't matter. She smiled softly at him, and he wondered if that were a sheer sign of an argument to come, but her fingers digging into his skull as it dragged it closer to hers interrupted his thoughts.

Her lips pressed against his, and they were kissing. _Fuck_, they were kissing.

He didn't know how long it would last and took advantage of the moment, wrapping his arms around her waist (they lowered instinctively) and held her tight.

She wasn't having any of that. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she lifted herself up and wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her heel into his back, urging him forward. Her kisses weren't the kisses he remembered; soft and tender. They were rough and needy and _fuck me now_.

They landed on the bed before he could really figure out what was going on. Clothes were torn and hair was pulled, scratches were left and bite marks visible.

She arched her hips into his, and broke him out of the daze that he was in and brought him into reality. When he didn't react immediately, she tightened her legs around his waist and rolled them around, staring down at him.

Lying there, it was the first time he'd really seen the veins underneath Elena's eyes, really seen the red on the side of her irises. She was everything he'd never wanted her to be. Everything she'd never wanted to be.

She bent down and kissed him more softly this time while her legs lay, knees bent beside him. Her hips grinded against his and his hands slipped down her sides faster than he could control them to grab onto them, forcing them to stop moving.

She did not like that. Biting down on his lower lip, she fought against his hands under her hips were free to grind and bump as they pleased. She dug her fingers into his chest and grabbed onto the skin while she did so, lapping the blood that came from the bite wound on his lip.

She hated how gentle he was being. He was so used to the human Elena, the Elena that would break. She wouldn't break, and she wanted him to know that. As she pulled her lips away from his, she kissed down his chest, making tiny bite marks that left little pools of blood as she grinded her hips against his harder than before, loving the growl that appeared from his lips.

Starting from the bottom and licking to the top of his chest, she peered at him through hooded eyes. She knew she was driving him crazy. Stefan had a resolve built up that a part of her had hoped would have left with him when he went with Klaus. Elena would not break; he didn't have to treat her like porcelain.

She was on her back and mewing before she could understand how she'd gotten there. His arms wrapped around the underside of her thighs and lifted them up. He knelt down and thrust himself inside of her, not the gentle way that he had been acting before. It was rough and hard and she swore if she were human she'd wake up sore the next morning.

She arched her back as his thrusts became more frequent and harder than before. Hands gripping at his headboard, his fingers digging into the sides of her legs; no more fear of breaking ran through either of their minds.

He reached down between them as he let her legs drop to the side, rubbing the pad of his thumb lightly against her clit. She arched her hips in appreciation, but he just teased it again before his hands slid up her sides and cupped over her breasts. His mouth attacked the valley between them.

She came harder than she ever had when having sex with his brother, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her hips arched against his, and suddenly there was no air. He still rocked in and out of her at an inhuman pace and she swore that if he kept going, she would come again too.

His fingers dug into her thighs as he thrust, coming moments after she did and collapsing on top of her. Her legs wrapped around him lazily as he kissed the underside of her chin.

They were no longer Stefan and Elena, the boy who had mysteriously come into town and rescued the lonely girl who had lost her parents.

And this wasn't love.

xXx

To say this didn't take a lot of effort would be lying on my part. I had Kenz telling me every five seconds that I had to finish it, and yet, I couldn't find the muse. However, this morning I woke up to three new fics to read and I don't know what happened. Maybe I was a little more driven to write it? Ugh, I don't know. Anyway, here it is. And I hope, for what it's worth, that you enjoyed it.

xoxo,  
>Leighton<p> 


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